Well, here I am! Conker the King... king of all the land! Who'd a thought that? But how did I come to this, you say? And who are those strange fellows that surround my throne? That you also say! Well. It's a long story. Come closer and I'll tell you. It all started... yesterday. And what a day that was! It's what I call... a bad fur day!
—Conker the Squirrel
Stupid logo!
—Conker seeing the N64 logo before sawing it in half
Yeh. I think the rounds on me, I’m gonna get tanked tonight.
—Conker the Squirrel
Eat lead, muther buzzer!
—Conker the Squirrel
Ok, I’ll press B
—Conker the Squirrel
Conker the Squirrel is the alcoholic-girl-chasing-money-loving and poo-fantasizing squirrel who is known for having some strange friends including a paint bucket? Sorry, not my idea. Blame Rare! But at the same time thank Rare for putting him in the comedic masterpiece that is Conker's Bad Fur Day. Also the rounds on him, he hopes to get tanked tonight but we don’t know if it will happen, Due to him being alcoholic, He joined the Elmo Gang (he later left because being a criminal just didn’t suit him) and was one of the few people there who are neutral. Every time Conker sees cash his eyes turn into the dollar symbol and he shoves it into an undisclosed location when collected. He must not be wearing pants for a reason?
Today, He rules Conker Island because he is king since 2001 and broke the Guinness UnWorld Record for the fastest time to become king at 24 hours.
If Conker give scarecrow 10 UnDollar. Long time, he love manual long time. What’s with all these movie references????
Conker was originally meant to be family friendly but because of a certain shame also made by Rare Conker became for mature audiences ONLY! No kids allowed, ever! Or your parents didn’t know what rated M meant or ignored the “ADVISORY: This shame is not for anyone under age 17” label that even a blind man wouldn’t miss or the giant red text when you start up the shame that says "FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY". This didn’t affect Conker's Pocket Tales which was the last time he was anything BUT mature!
List of all movie references here[]
- Tanked tonight: From Dusk to Dawn
- You love manual long time: Full Metal Jacket
Trivia[]
- Project Spark was the last time we saw Conker in his usual poo-loving-gun-fanatic personality. Young Conker for the HoloLens was disgusting. Not only is it kid friendly but WHAT THE 💀⚡️⭐️🌀 HAPPENED TO CONKER???
- Instead of going to The Matrix, he went to The Vertex
Context Sensitive
Conker becomes drunk and just whips it out and starts peeing on everyone, his pee is actually corrosive and slowly dissolves everything but him.
Context Sensitive
Conker becomes drunk and just whips it out and starts peeing on everyone, his pee is actually corrosive and slowly dissolves everything but him.