Chuck Norris' Tear

The Awesome One's Tears are a legendary substance that can do anything. They are extremely rare, as The Awesome One has only ever cried once.

History

The Only Time He Ever Cried

The only time The Awesome One ever cried was during a Counsel of Infinity meeting. They were meeting to discuss the constant crying of the Evil Baby of Doom. The Awesome One thought they should simply teach it to talk instead, while Chuck Norris thought he should kick it, and Super Eviler Bowser thought they should knock it out and lock it up. Chuck Norris and Super Eviler Bowser were amazed by The Awesome One's approach, and turned on him. After an epic duel, The Awesome One shed one tear.

The One Tear

It just happens the Teletubbies were using the TVs on their stomachs to see if anything interesting was going on in the universe. They tuned in on the meeting, and saw a tear from The Awesome One. Wasting no time, they flew there in Po's Idiotmobile. The Consel was too busy arguing, so Laa-Laa jumped in, scooped up the tear, and put it in a vial. The vial melted. She tried putting it in a jar, a pair of pants, a hamburger, and even an imaginary bubble. The tear could not be held. At this point Tinky Winky walked up, and tried to pick it up in his hand. His hand fell off. Eventually, Dipsy used a device to make it float into the Idiotmobile, and they took it back to Teletubby Land.

Theft

It was eventually stolen by the Powers of Weakness when they wanted it for themselves. The Weakling King got his hands on it, and planned on using it to make himself not-weak. His plan failed miserably when Squidward Tentacles stole it. Squidward then used it as a bomb, trying to blow up SpongeBob SquarePants' house. It worked, but he also blew up that half of the Earth. It took a whole ten seconds for the Counsel to fix this problem.