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Chuck Norris' Tears are a legendary substance that can do anything. They are extremely rare, as Chuck Norris has never actually cried. Due to this, there is only one tear in existence.
Youdoodle-2018-01-05T19-46-37Z

The majestic substance itself.

History

Creation of the Tear

Chuck Norris has never actually cried, but there is one tear that sprung from his eye back in the BC years. All of the Undefeatables were meeting in the Undefeatable Palace to discuss the fate of Sparta, when suddenly a random argument sprang up. All of the guys wanted something different. Bob Saget thought they should destroy Sparta and build a new country there. Marx thought they should invent a new species and make it conquer Sparta. Cyber-Dee thought they should just blow it up for the lulz. T-5000 wanted to build a giant monument to the Undefeatables in Sparta. Chuck Norris, however, wanted to give Sparta an awesome army to let them WIN.

The Undefeatables started yelling, and eventually they started fighting. Cyber-Dee and Marx started shooting at everyone while T-5000 and Bob Saget lit stuff on fire. All four of their attacks combined and struck Chuck Norris right in the eye. Though he was not crying (because Chuck Norris never cries), the pure power of such an attack caused Chuck's eye to strike back. A single drop of water emerged from it. This was the sole tear of Chuck Norris.

Attack of the Tear

This tear was the tear of Chuck Norris. It was so incredibly powerful, Nobody could bare it. Even the Undefeatables could not win this fight. Though they were not defeated by it, they couldn't stop it. The tear struck them all, knocking them backwards. Then it fell from Undefeatable Palace into the land below.

The tear landed in the center of Sparta. The moment it landed, Leonidas emerged from the spot. He screamed "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" and charged off to gather the 300. But the tear was not done. You see, Chuck Norris' tear was no average tear. No. When Chuck Norris' tear landed, it caused a flood. A flood that spread across the entire UnWorld. It spread for 40 days, and then lasted 150. After it dried, things were... exactly the same. Except for Sparta, which was now officially awesome.

Capture of the Tear

It just happens the Teletubbies were using the TVs on their stomachs to see if anything interesting was going on in the universe. They tuned in on the UnWorld, and saw the flood. Wasting no time, they flew there in Po's Idiotmobile. They arrived at the UnWorld, Laa-Laa jumped in, scooped up the tear, and put it in a vial. The vial melted. She tried putting it in a jar, a pair of pants, a hamburger, and even an imaginary bubble. The tear could not be held. At this point Tinky Winky walked up, and tried to pick it up in his hand. His hand fell off. Eventually, Dipsy used a device to make it float into the Idiotmobile, and they took it back to Teletubby Land.

It was eventually stolen by the Powers of Weakness when they wanted it for themselves. The Weakling King got his hands on it, and planned on using it to make himself not weak. His plan failed miserably when Squidward Tentacles stole it. Squidward then used it as a bomb, trying to blow up SpongeBob SquarePants' house. It worked, but he also blew up that half of the UnWorld. It took a whole ten seconds for the Undefeatables to fix this problem.

A fair time later, Cyber-Dee transformed the legendary Sword of Epic into Chuck's Tear and swallowed it, destroying the old one. After his fight with Chuck shattered several small galaxies, Chuck drilled into reality itself and ripped Dee's Undefeatability from him. Using his legendary Beard Punch he scattered Cyber-Dee over several cubic light-years of space. Dee regenerated in a severely weakened state, dying in an unremarkable part of the UnUnWorld. Meanwhile, the tear was coughed up into an obscure part of Undefeatable Palace, slowly eating its way through the impossible geometry of the floor and into the depths of the UnUniverse.

Just like that, it was Boxing Day, 2004. The tear punched straight through the Moon just before 8 AM, and smashed through the entire depth of the Indian Ocean a mere second later. Digging thirty kilometers into the Eurasian and Indo-Australian plates, the tear caused the second largest earthquake in recorded history, slaughtering hundreds of thousands in Meme Island, India and the Teletubby UnWorld Territories, among other nations along the Indian Ocean coastline with a tsunami 167 feet high in spots.

Somewhere in southern Somalia, the Tear would eventually lead to a time-travelling saga of epic proportions...

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