UnAnything Wiki

What is UnAnything? UnAnything is a humor wiki that's been running for over a decade. Want to edit? Read the rules, because your edits won't be saved unless you follow the instructions within. But if you're just curious about us, you can read the guide. Be sure to also check out our Discord! Have fun!

READ MORE

UnAnything Wiki
Advertisement

Chuck Norris' Tear is a legendary substance that can do anything. It's extremely hard to find, as it pops up from place to place in order to protect itself. Due to this, there is only one, singular powerful tear in the universe which was willed into existence during a great fight in the Palace...

Youdoodle-2018-01-05T19-46-37Z

The majestic substance itself.

History of the Tear[]

Creation of the Tear[]

Chuck Norris has never actually cried, but there is one tear that sprung from his eye back in the BC years. All of the Undefeatables were meeting in the Undefeatable Palace to discuss the fate of Sparta, when suddenly a random argument sprang up. All of the guys wanted something different. Bob Saget thought they should destroy Sparta and build a new country there. Marx thought they should invent a new species and make it conquer Sparta. Cyber-Dee thought they should just blow it up for the lulz. T-5000 wanted to build a giant monument to the Undefeatables in Sparta. Chuck Norris, however, wanted to give Sparta an awesome army to let them WIN.

The Undefeatables started yelling, and eventually they started fighting. Cyber-Dee and Marx started shooting at everyone while T-5000 and Bob Saget lit stuff on fire. All four of their attacks combined and struck Chuck Norris right in the eye. Though he was not crying (because Chuck Norris never cries), the pure power of such an attack caused Chuck's eye to strike back. A single drop of water emerged from it. This was the sole tear of Chuck Norris.

Attack of the Tear[]

This tear was the tear of Chuck Norris. It was so incredibly powerful, Nobody could bare it. Even the Undefeatables could not win this fight. Though they were not defeated by it, they couldn't stop it. The tear struck them all, knocking them backwards. Then it fell from Undefeatable Palace into the land below.

The tear landed in the center of Sparta. The moment it landed, Leonidas emerged from the spot. He screamed "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" and charged off to gather the 300. But the tear was not done. You see, Chuck Norris' tear was no average tear. No. When Chuck Norris' tear landed, it caused a flood. A flood that spread across the entire UnWorld. It spread for 40 days, and then lasted 150. After it dried, things were... exactly the same. Except for Sparta, which was now officially awesome.

Capture of the Tear[]

It just happens the Teletubbies were using the TVs on their stomachs to see if anything interesting was going on in the universe. They tuned in on the UnWorld, and saw the flood. Wasting no time, they flew there in Po's Idiotmobile. They arrived at the UnWorld, Laa-Laa jumped in, scooped up the tear, and put it in a vial. The vial melted. She tried putting it in a jar, a pair of pants, a hamburger, and even an imaginary bubble. The tear could not be held. At this point Tinky Winky walked up, and tried to pick it up in his hand. His hand fell off. Eventually, Dipsy used a device to make it float into the Idiotmobile, and they took it back to Teletubby Land.

It was eventually stolen by the Powers of Weakness when they wanted it for themselves. The Weakling King got his hands on it, and planned on using it to make himself not weak. His plan failed miserably when Squidward Tentacles stole it. Squidward then used it as a bomb, trying to blow up SpongeBob SquarePants' house. It worked, but he also blew up that half of the UnWorld. It took a whole ten seconds for the Undefeatables to fix this problem.

A fair time later, Cyber-Dee transformed the legendary Sword of Epic into Chuck's Tear and swallowed it, destroying the old one. After his fight with Chuck shattered reality itself, Chuck drilled into Cyber-Dee's NBT data and ripped the cyborg's Undefeatability from him. Using his legendary Beard Punch he scattered Cyber-Dee over several cubic light-years of space. Dee regenerated in a severely weakened state, dying in an unremarkable part of the UnUnWorld. Meanwhile, the tear was coughed up into an obscure part of Undefeatable Palace, slowly eating its way through the impossible geometry of the floor and into the depths of the UnUniverse. It has been the cause of stupididy and mayhem ever since.

Advertisement