UnAnything Wiki

What is UnAnything? UnAnything is a humor wiki that's been running for over a decade. Want to edit? Read the rules, because your edits won't be saved unless you follow the instructions within. But if you're just curious about us, you can read the guide. Be sure to also check out our Discord! Have fun!

READ MORE

UnAnything Wiki
UnAnything Wiki
Advertisement
CHESSINGTN

What U see when You enter Chessington. It looks like You gotta head in the left lane, because the middle lane is just an exit, and the right one is full.

Chessington World of Adventures,CWOA, or just Chessington is a southern theme park in the UnUnited Kingdom, which has been proven to be a much better theme park than Thorpe Park, Legoland and Paultons Park due to the consistent lack of chavs, actually good rides and for being developed in the late 1980s by John Wardley. What Chessington is widely known for is it's stereotypically themed lands such as Mystic East, Forbidden Kingdom, Mexicana, Pirates Cove and to a large extent, Transylvania. This is typically highlighted by theming, music and ride announcements.

History of this place[]

Before the park existed, the Burnt Stub Mansion had been there for 3,000 years. It's not very interesting so that point won't be developed. Sometime later, a man found potential in the empty land in Chessington and decided to build a zoo with a child scaring facility in order to gain lots of moneys. Soon everybody was flocking to Chessington because of the animals and to potentially scar their children for the rest of their lives.

A few years after the park was bought by Tussauds, when everyone had seen the animals at least 600 times, the park was deemed disinteresting. At this point, management called in John Wardley, hoping that he would take a look around and make a miracle of the park. Fortunately, he did, and the heavens rejoiced!

And in just six days, God created The Fifth Dimension, Vampire, Professor Burp's Bubbleworks and many other awesome rides and themed areas. The public once again flocking in large numbers, proving God's work an excellent success. Sadly though, The Fifth Dimension was changed into Terror Tomb in 1994 (Which thankfully had Wardley contribute towards so it was still decent,which was good), and then into Tomb Blaster. Bubbleworks was rethemed from a pop drink factory into a Cussons Product Whore factory, which kinda sucks.

Today[]

The most recent land added to Chessington is Wild Asia, based around a wild form of Asia with snakes and pretty birds to make it more 'exotic' (dangerous). In the centre of this area are two enlarged Arboks, locked together forever. These Pokemon are forcefully attached to a Disk-O coaster, which rolls up and down painfully on their backs. Unfortunately, many believe this is a rollercoaster when in fact it is not, and it is simply a ride that happens to be on a track, whihc technically means it sort of is a coaster.

Currently, in the Vampire queueline, there stands a "Evil Satan Minion National Park", situated next to the very popular mid-queue shop. This is the reason that it takes so long to board Vampire. In order to keep Minion numbers down, Chessington have situated clones of Abdab in cloaks from the previous Terror Tomb ride around the queueline, in the hope of frightening them back to their spawners. People think it is better than Thorpe Park, so they go there instead.

Current rides[]

  • Dragon's Fury, which is a Mourn A Sön spinning roller coaster themed around a land that involves dragons and formerly, lazily sponsored by Skips during its first year or so. The ride is said to be consistently better than Spinball Whizzer at ALTON TOWERS because the theming isn't inane and it does something with the space it's given.The ride's story is apparantly you have angered some sort of dragon master and you have to ride his Mourn-A-Son coaster in order to please him so you don't get kicked out of the park. Why a Mourn A Sön? Possibly because the hidden dragon master is some sort of sadist. DigitalDan says he is the physical Embodiment of this ride, and no one knows why.
  • Rattlesnake, which is just Sit back! Hold Tight! This is a bumpy ride! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba! ¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! [Obligatory Mexican Tunes]
  • Runaway Train
  • Vampire: an Arvow Dynamiks swvinging rolvercoaster that was created by Jvohn Vardley and opvned at Vorld Adventur of Chessingtoon in 1990 (prunounced Nine-vy Nine-vy Zero). Zis vas very very popular and still is very muchly so tovay.
  • Kobra: a Disk-O ride with two Arboks attached to it , which rolls up and down painfully on their backs.
  • And a couple other rides no one was bothered to put down here.

Former/previous rides[]

  • Samurai (relocated to Thorpe Park)
  • Ramases Revenge, which is a HUSS top spin ride which in, 2019 it officially closed when Chessington finally deciphered "brrr screee" was a scream for help, It's expected to be replaced by some kiddie drop tower for 2021. Although safety concerns have been raised over the drop tower being eaten by a rather large crocodile, which is why not much people ride it. The old ride was taken to the same secret place that Slammer at Thorpe Park went to in Cool Land after it shut.

Upcoming ride[]

AMAZONCWOA

What the Amazon warehouse will look like when it will be completed in 2023

in 2023, the world of Jumanji will open at this place, which is known as Project Amazon, meaning an Amazon warehouse will open at the park, as well as a B&M wing dead end coaster. Someone said that while you are on the reverse spike, you may turn into custard, which is something i do not want to experience

Advertisement