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Ceiling Cat
Ceilingcat.png
Ceiling Cat's true form
Gender: Male
Hair color: White (fur)
Age: [MATH ERROR] years old
Species: Cat
Alive or Dead?: y u ask if he's dead or alive???
Death: NEVER!
Likes: Chuck Norris
Dislikes: The Weegee Towers
Powers: LOTS!
Alignment: Chaotic Good
UnRank: Unknown, estimated near Conway's Tetratri

Ceiling Cat  is one of the most powerful, most awesome and most undefeatable cats in the world, with powers over all animal life, goodness in the universe, entropy and disarray, cheezburgers and even fertility. He is also God's cat. Ceiling Cat is solely good towards cats who are good. Because of his morals, he has a rivalry with Basement Cat, who once stole his cookie. If you try to huff him, you'll either get a Stand or DIE.

Origin

Ceiling Cat's origin is unknown. Some say that Ceiling Cat gave birth to itself but that would be downright confusing and not to mention impossible. Others say that Ceiling Cat did not come from anywhere and has simply existed long before the dawn of time. This could be true, but remains unconfirmed by the official Timeline of the UnUniverse. The most supported theory is that Chuck Norris brought him into existence because he wanted more fluffy, all-powerful companions.

Growing Up

Ceiling Cat grew up in a litter of three other kittens: Purgatory Cat, Angel Cat, and Basement Cat. However, since Chuck Norris is far too manly to leave kittens to die, he kept them as the first new members of the Norris dynasty.

The four cats eventually took charge of the areas they lived in, gaining new jobs and responsibilities. Ceiling Cat created all living things, Angel Cat took the souls of the dead into Heaven, Basement Cat devoured the souls of the bad people, and Purgatory Cat did absolutely nothing.

Creating Mankind

In honor of his foster father, Chuck Norris, Ceiling Cat created humans in his image. Fortunately, he made the wise decision of vastly reducing their power so that they would not destroy each other as well as Earth. Unfortunately, they began doing so anyway by creating guns and polluting the atmosphere, respectively. Thus, Ceiling Cat created the undead to wipe out some of the humans without wasting his resources, but to no avail. To this day, Ceiling Cat tries his best to curb the human population, and has begun to succeed in Japan, where humans are being replaced by robots at Ceiling Cat's will. He may even give you decent cooking advice if it cuts a hole in your kitchen ceiling, but DO NOT COOK the Ceiling Cat.

Ceiling Cat, creating the first human. He is splattered by the blood of Monkey Creatures, and taking his mortal guise.

Mythology and Dogma

Ceiling Cat is a very relaxed god. He doesn't care much about his followers, only requesting that they offer sacrifices of cheeseburgers every month to appease him. He also encourages the destruction of Basement Cat's faith.

Ceiling Cat, like his Clerics, butcher the English language mercilessly, using phrases like "I can has Cheeseburger?" rather than "May I have a Cheeseburger?" This is not required by his clerics, but many do it as a force of habit.

Good souls go to Ceiling Cat, Bad Souls go to Basement Cat.

Ceiling Cat has many temples anywhere feline-esque races abound, as well as hidden dens for all awakened cat followers, called LOLcats. Ceiling Cat's temples always have small square holes in the ceilings at one location so that he himself may always watch his loyal followers.

  1. Ceiling Cat takes care of good souls; Basement Cat takes care of bad souls.
  2. He watches you masturbate.
  3. He was created by Chuck Norris.
  4. He had a litter sons that are each powerful Undefeatables in their own right - the trio of Tierboskat, Happycat and Dunecat.
  5. He had another litter. This is presumed to be the Overlongcats.
  6. 30,000,000 years after the Big Bang, he had another son.
  7. He also created the UnUniverse, which created Chuck Norris.
  8. This entry appears to have been stared out of existence.
  9. His DNA has been found in Billy Mays and Jack Black.
  10. He is believed to be heavily involved in the history of the United States.

See also

Trivia

  • Ceiling Cat is the first character to have a Stand.
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