I am Captain Obvious! Captain Obvious
When your hand is stuck in a toaster, your hand is stuck in a toaster! Captain Obvious
Falling into the lava kills you instantly! Captain Obvious
Being good is a good thing kid! Captain Obvious, talking to a kid
Children in all shames are immortal. Not just Skyrim. Captain Obvious, after an attempted murder
The ocean is wet! Captain Obvious at the beach
A bottle opener opens bottles! Captain Obvious
UnAnything is a wiki! Captain Obvious
Captain Obvious is a guy. He is a hero too. He always says things that are really obvious, and asks what self explanatory things do. He wears a mask to conceal his identity. Captain Obvious also has a page on this wiki. You are reading it. In his logo, the C stands for Captain, and the O stands for Obvious. It's also a weakness, since it sort of looks like a target, and his heart is in his chest. If someone is falling down, he will save them. Justis Stupid is stupid. Somebody sees you. You are too stupid to understand Captain Obvious. His lines are super obvious too. He is a captain. Despite this, he isn't one of those Number Captains. Obvious is not a number. Obvious is a word, ok Captain Obvio-oh wait, we’re already here!
His biggest rivals are Old Asian Man and Captain Not Obvious. Old Asian Man because his quotes are just as epic as Captain Obvious, and Captain Not Obvious because it's obvious he's a ripoff of him when he isn't. He is really obvious.
Captain Obvious is the article you are reading; you are reading this instead of the 7,294 other articles on UnAnything. You decided to read this.