Captain 80 is a Number Captain, a Station 37 Firefighter, and a member of the Armored Captain's Anti-Crime Clan, along with Captain 20 (leader), Captain 70, and Captain 40, among others.
He is currently married to Captain 70, a British police officer Captain who is also a member of the ACACC.
Golden Origin[]
Captain 80 was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona, an extremely hot place in UnAmerica (which is why it is called Phoenix). His birth name is Goldman Goldburg and was born to two really lame parents who really only did very normal things, like, pay taxes and buy groceries. They never had anything interesting to talk about with Goldman. They also never let Goldman do stuff that would hurt him, even a little, like, going to the park, they even forced his school to not take him to recess. Because of his parents' lameness, Goldman had a somewhat boring life. What made his life unboring were the firefighters who came down his street almost every week because Phoenix very hot, of course; there was always a building burning every day and the firefighters would always save the occupants from going down with the building. Captain 80's parents walked him to school every other day, and most times there was a building burning down, which made him sad but there would always be firefighters on time to save everyone. But, one quarter year of summer, there weren't enough firefighters to respond to burning buildings on the street he walked to school. He and his parents walked past burnt-down buildings and burning buildings every day they walked to school, he would hear the screams of the burning people, which gradually made him go insane. So insane that he went inside a burning house to save someone's pet turtle, which shocked his parents so much that they grounded him, but he would always sneak out when a building was burning to save someone or something. His parents quickly ungrounded him since he was being heroic and saving a bunch of people.
Arizona Firefighter[]
When he was 16, Goldman became a firefighter, which his parents approved of. He was the best firefighter in Arizona who had saved many lives from fire. This is also when he became famous around the world when an incident had occurred: Bad Cat lit a house on fire and planned to prevent all emergency vehicles from getting to the burning house. He built a concrete blockade on the road where Goldman would be driving and pretended to be road workers. But Goldman showed just how insane he was by plowing through the blockades.
Station 37 Firefighter[]
Captain 37 was quite impressed by Goldman's maneuver and thought that he was just insane enough to be a part of the Captain 37's Hotel's Station 37 Firefighter Force, which was losing members because they were being murdered by the occupants. He personally went to Phoenix, Arizona to meet Captain 80, and offered him a firefighting job at his hotel. Captain 80 said no to the first, second, and third offers, since he had to leave Phoenix with nothing in return, then Captain 37 offered that he builds a thingy that will prevent buildings from burning down in Phoenix, and Captain 80 said heck yes to that.
As a Station 37 Firefighter, he potentially had to deal with bad guys, so the staff armed him with a high-pressure portable fire hose and a Magnum. The fire hose for Station 37 Firefighters was portable because there were no fire hydrants in Captain 37's Hotel. He also got to drive the Engine-37 (E-37) fire truck, which he drove around very insanely, stopping for no cars that were in his way.
The ACACC Firefighter[]
Captain 20 was chilling in Captain 37's Hotel and was suddenly lit on fire and shot at (a gang war between Elmo Gang and Passione was happening). Captain 20 tried to fend everyone off by using his sword and shield, but they just kept lighting him on fire and shooting him, until Captain 80, being the first responder that he is, mowed all of the gang members down using his fire hose and Magnum, saving Captain 20.
Captain 20 then offered Captain 80 a membership into the Armored Captain's Anti-Crime Clan, which he declined because he couldn't be fighting crime in two places, until Captain 37 simply said, "Yes you can!" and then he immediately accepted the membership.
He met Captain 70 while in the ACACC and she found his red teeth quite attractive and he found her blueness to be quite attractive, so they got married.
During Roberta's dance with the dead, he was rizzed up and was brutalized to the point of death, and so had to be reconstructed.
Weapons[]
Captain 80 has many powerful weapons and equipment at his disposal. Here are all of them:
As a Station 37 Firefighter[]
- High-pressure portable fire hose
- Magnum
- Bulletproof vest
- Fire helmet with bulletproof glass. This helmet is also a weapon when thrown
- Engine-37 firetruck
As an ACACC Member[]
- Everything from the above list
- Insane-pressure portable fire hose with high-pressure flamethrowing capabilities
- Even more bulletproof vest
- Bulletproof fire helmet
- Pipe bombs in his boob pocket
- Incendiary grenades under his helmet
- Engine-80 firetruck
Trivia & Gallery of Insanity[]
- He's been diagnosed with insanity by the therapist from the required therapy sessions of the ACACC.
- He doesn't like Captain 90 because the clan only needs one spray-weapon guy.
