Captain 77 (though he used to call himself Ilium and Dimitri) is the 105th Number Captain who was chief financial officer for the Legion of Captains. As CFO, he specializes in financing and investments into new technology for the Number Captains. He also goes treasure hunting when his investments turn into debt, because he isn't really that great at investing.
History[]
The Legion of Captains lost their $∞ bill and Captain 0/The Undefeatables weren't going to bail them out, so they created Captain 77 to get their stuff together and make money. The first thing he did was storm off: because instead of making him afraid of bad investments, they accidentally made him afraid of everything. For nearly 6 weeks, Captain 77 wandered through the overworld, encountering things that triggered his anxieties.
He was a vagabond, but then he encountered a group of beavers discussing compound interest rates, a group of squirrels making deposits into their savings holes, and a heated debate between two pigeons over the merits of diversification. He took this as a sign that he should go back into finances instead of being a nomad. Of course those animals were not doing any of those things, except for the squirrels, but Captain 77 is really predisposed to financial-related hallucinations. He flipped cars; he flipped houses; he flipped lots of things. Enough things to buy a NYC apartment under the name Ilium, which was almost impressive at the time. Not the apartment; creating a fake identity.
Wanting to be part of the League of Extraordinary Capitalists, he asked if he could join them. They said no, and then they then got into an UnStock trading competition to see who could make the most profits in a day with just $9000 to determine whether or not he could join. Captain 77 took out a large loan and put all his money into ShamesCoarse, which mysteriously filed for Chapter 7 a minute after he put stock into them. The League won by simply holding onto their change. Undeterred, Captain 77 challenged them again, only to get pwned by them again and forbidden from joining. So he went to get painted so that they wouldn't recognize him, opting for an Indianapolis-inspired design. Of course everybody knew he was the financially illiterate runaway Captain 77, but he thought he could get away with being "Dimitri" (he also liked the name more than Ilium). But before he did that, he went into a cave, because he knew he was going to have to take a bad time if he didn't mine for diamonds and go to the Nether (as well as pay back that loan).
So he diggy diggied himself a hole. He found diamonds, but lava burst in so instead of being a rich Terminator, he GTFOed outta there and ran like a pissino! He tripped and fell while escaping, but was able to use his magnetic-hover abilities of being a number captain to somewhat mitigate the fall. In another part of the cave, he found some adamantite, which was unusual considering this was a titanium UnWorld. Anyways, he figured that was a good enough find, and when he came out of the closet of the cave with his riches, his outer coating was scratched, which was the real reason he got a repainting (like one of those Mario shames). Captain 77 got a small fortune from the adamantite. In the salon, Captain 7 saw Captain 77 and dragged him back back to the Legion of Captains. They basically scolded Captain 77 about it being "his job" to serve the league. Captain 77 was tired of this crap so jumped out from the window. As he was falling, the Number Captains watched in terror; they thought he was going to die. But he wasn't. He was just using what he learned from the cave: magnetic forces of falling on his not-feet to sustain only minor injuries. When they saw that he escaped again, the Captains held a board meeting that minute on what to do next. Captain 12 declared that Dimitri should not be a number captain anymore, and sent him the bill for the window a letter stating he was officially no longer a part of their league.
Dimitri turned to intercontinental ballistic trading after truly being free. Well, he still had to cover rent because he wasted all his money repaying the high-interest loan. Trading missiles was a risk, but the risk payed off when he got $12 extra dollars he didn't have before. Not enough still. He could have asked for money from the legion, or probably sue them, but he was going Heisenberg on this. Dimitri didn't sell meth, or anything (because he hasn't seized the means of production yet), or go mining again, but instead he flipped air fryers. This proved much more successful, and he got enough money to make investments in new technologies. Of course, most of these investments failed, and he had to get more adamantite, but the one good investment he made was getting the rights to the Avamachine from Jessica Azul-Rey. That's because he knew he could get license it to Wario when he'd eventually combine all the wa-machine ripoffs, and get a cut off the top. That was the smartest thing he ever did. He would later meet a man by the name of Rock and they became partners in crime.
Currently, Dimitri is currently looking for his next big break, but refuses to go to business school because he don't need it (He needs it).
Trivia[]
- His biography is completely wrong; he is actually known as the Captain who went rogue.
- He once had a gun and a leather bowler hat, but threw them away.
- Captain 40 found these and is currently using them.
- This inspired Clover to do the same.
- He hates all the other number captains and wants nothing to do with them.
- He calls the Legion of Captains the League of Villains.
- He hates being called a Captain.
- He's currently learning Alchemy so that he can transmute himself into something else.
- He hates getting dirty.
- He has whiskers and not war paint (and/or whatever Ash has).
- One of his favorite shames is Fallout: New Vegas, and his other favorite is Real Bout Fatal Fury 2