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UnAnything Wiki
UnAnything Wiki
" YOU...YOU FIEND! How do you 11V3 11K3 TH15?! "
  —Captain 503, after nearly getting killed by Satanist Empire members
Captain 503
Captain 503.png
Error 503 service unavaliable
Hair color: None
Species: Half Number Captain, half Stickmen
Alive or Dead?: Alive
Death: Almost killed by Captain 9, but threw 9 off a cliff
Likes: UnDollars
Dislikes: Captain 9
Education: The kids educate him
Alignment: UnAligned
UnRank: 99.99

Captain 503 is an obscure number captain. He is the leader of his own all-new club: The Glitchy Hell Club (a club made for error people like himself). He was made by the user Mimikyutube.


Captain 503, despite being the leader of both Glitchy Hell and its club, is actually surprisingly friendly (albeit clumsy and overly extroverted). He even attempts to aid Captain 0, despite not finding a way to do so other than fight Captain 1. He is one of the 3 Error Captains.


Captain 503, unlike the other number captains, has no round torso, instead being a stick figure. He has the head of a Spinosaurus aegypticus (Mimikyutube's favorite dinosaur), and is completely carnivorous (he DOES make an exception for pizza), and particularly eats most of his food with ketchup (not pizza, because of the mental image of ketchup and pizza. That's just disgusting), otherwise he acts like a drunk hobo. He also has 6 arms, each one containing a spinning device that acts like a hand. He actually has one half-unattached leg on him, but it doesn't physically affect him.


  • Bite: No rock is too hard for Captain 503's teeth...except for The Rock.
  • Glitchify: Captain 503 can create a living hell for anyone who gets in the way of this attack.
  • Lag: Arguably his strongest attack, Captain 503 is able to teleport with the power of lag, but this also freezes the area around him.
  • S M A C C: It's exactly what it says. S M A C C.


One day, somewhere in the UnUniverse, this guy just showed up (we don't know how to get rid of him, but he's actually not too bad a captain) after someone in some other dimension was writing this article. He appeared in Hell, and soon after, just glitched away. After 10 seconds of hearing "SERVICE UNAVAILABLE" the residents couldn't see the creature, who was apparently made in the Google Drawings dimension. Captain 503 disappeared into his own new section of Hell, called Glitchy Hell.

Apparently, Captain 503 was a huge fan of dissecting video shames and seeing what makes them tick (which would be fine, if he didn't glitch out the shame for everyone in Hell). He also loved posting cringe, which Rick Astley kept reminding him of. He constantly made YTPs of the following qualities:

  • Disgusting
  • Cringy
  • How do you do fellow kids?
  • Edgy
  • Unfunny
  • Amogus
  • The last example is not like the others

Captain 503 then decided to stop making YTPs, much to everyone's surprise. His next move was to punch Chuck Norris in the face out of anger that Rick Astley called his YTPs cringe, but ended up not doing that because everyone was telling him that he had so much to live for.

His next move was to commit multiple heinous acts that only the Teletubbies would dare to do:

  • Ring the doorbell (or knock on the door really loudly if no doorbell was present) and then run out of sight
  • Laugh during a funeral (it was the annoying neighbor's funeral, he wasn't being insensitive for no reason)
  • Tell his friends' parents that he didn't like the food
  • Claim he was 100% a number captain (instead of the 50% he actually is)
  • Openly confess he liked broccoli

Except for the broccoli thing and the funeral, Captain 503 did not want to do what he did, he had just woken up.

But then, he got more malicious...