- No
two-bit, one-dimensionaldogs were harmed during the writing of this article.
Go commit die!
—Bluey
Bingo is an asshole!
—Bluey... again.
Bluey Osama Saddam el-Usted Heeler, simply known as Bluey, is a young dog and evil politician primarily known for her ties to The ABC, an infamous terrorist organization that wants to kill everyone and everything. She has a hatred for the Undefeatables (among other heroes) that runs very deep. Bluey currently hides out in Animetonia, and is the fourth-dumbest stupid fucker in the UnWorld.
Biography
Ages 1–21: The Blue-der Years
Bluey Osama Saddam el-Usted Heeler was born in a hospital as a male. He came out of a woman, who had a husband, whose husband was his father, whose wife was his mother. Bluey is the daughter of Chilli Furri de-la-Usted Heeler and Bandit Booty de la Usted Fakkā Heeler.
Bluey attended Hellscape Elementary School in Hell, and was considered "intelignet" by the school, almost immediately being sent to Satan's Creek High School. At SCHS, she majored in asskissing, spending all four years trying to please his teachers, his peers, his mother, and something called an FBI that investigated her for a crime called "murder".
At her graduation ceremony, he raised his fist, screaming "go commit die!". It caught on and became a famous phrase known and uttered universe-wide.
Ages 21–27: Gettin' Older (ft. Sex Change)
At age 21, he got his sex changed from male to female in order to "fool everyone in a seven-mile radius [LOL]".
At age 22, she joined BBC. After they fired her for requesting that they broadcast pornography, she turned to The ABC, who let her join them as a "Base Janitor".
At age 23, Bluey expressed her disdain for Peppa Pig and the ideology known as Peppapigism. Everyone hates Peppapigism at the ABC, so they agreed with her when she decided that rather than condoning Satanism, they should switch to a new ideology called "Blueyism" in which she is considered God rather than Satan. As a result, The ABC became a pro-Blueyist organization. Thanks to this, the unofficial definition of "ABC" is Asshole Bluey Cult.
When she turned 28, she wrote her first book, Blueyu 'Akbar: The Bluey Heeler Story, which was published clandestinely by The Evil Press Unit of ABC. Then, BBC thought "hey, she ain't so bad", and they teamed up with The ABC to give Bluey her own TV show, Bluey: The TV Show. It aired on the international TV channel ABC Kids' Brainwash for two seasons.
Ages 27–30: This Random-Ass Sister
Bluey and family.
Bingo Heeler.
That was the name of the little girl that Bluey's Mum™ gave birth to when Bluey was just 27 years old. Bluey was angry that she wasn't alone anymore, and she vowed that one day, Bingo would be killed, cremated, and/or peed on.
Bluey's fucking disgusting.
As opposed to Bluey, Bingo was actually born female, which made Bluey jealous AF because she was their "little boy". Therefore, Bluey felt very out of place in the family—especially since the two were 27 years apart.
Then... it happened.
De-aging and the Chaos Emeralds
On her 31st birthday, Bluey used the Chaos Emeralds to de-age herself from 31 to 6, hoping to get "a new-ass lease on life". In the process, she ended up giving herself uncontrollable super strength, and destroyed everything in her path.
Trivia
- Bluey condones radical rightism.
- She smells bad, and that's no good.
- Deep down, Bluey has a crippling fear of Doraemon.
- She suffers from dairy-based flatulence (DBF), meaning when she passes gas when she drinks milk.
- She was diagnosed with "dogitis", an illness that kills you if left untreated... unlike other illnesses. ( w i n k )
The End
The End.