UnAnything Wiki

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Black M&M

The bombshell herself (Get it, I said bombshell because she's a chocolate candy in a hard shell. That's clever right?)

The Black M&M is the single most metal candy in the entirety of the UnUniverse. The chocolate inside her shell is made from hellfire and tears of the unborn. Very few can eat her and live to tell the tale.

Origin[]

The Black M&M was created when all of the heavy metal music in the UnUniverse became concentrated on a normal bag of M&Ms. This resulted in the creation of the single most hard rocking M&M woman in the history of anything ever.

The Black M&M is so insanely badass that when she cuts herself, Drowning Pool music always comes blasting out of the open wound.

The fight against Tucker Carlson[]

Tucker Carlson

The Black M&M's yandere

After her creation, the Black M&M sat inside her house to feast on her favorite meal, Evanescence CDs, when suddenly, Tucker Carlson broke through the walls of her house.

Tucker Carlson then began professing his love for the Black M&M before pulling out a diamond ring and asking her to marry him.

Naturally, the Black M&M refused because her one true love is Rob Zombie and this enraged Tucker to no end.

So Tucker summoned 1000 Angry Video Game Nerds and they attacked the Black M&M at the same time. The Black M&M managed to take out 999 of them but one of them hit her from behind, knocking her out immediately.

Tucker then tore open a portal to another dimension and tossed the Black M&M into it.

Conquering her new world[]

Nyaruko san

The ruler of Dimension T

The Black M&M fell on her rump and found that she was in a new world that was ruled by Nyaruko-san and her army of Energizer Bunnies. Nyaruko ordered the Black M&M to be taken prisoner and the Energizer Bunnies did as they were told, before throwing the Black M&M into a prison cell, where she stayed for the next 6 years, with only the thought of murdering Nyaruko-San being her drive to escape from this place.

During her time in prison, the Black M&M trained herself in the ways of heavy metal harder than ever before until she became so metal that even her blood, sweat, and saliva had Metallica lyrics engraved on them.

The Black M&M then escaped prison because it turned out that her cell was unlocked the entire time and she never thought to check once in the entire time.

Being into heavy metal doesn't make you smart. This message is brought to you by Skittles.

The Black M&M then stormed into Nyaruko-san's throne room and said "why did you imprison me for 6 years?"

Nyaruko-san thought for a second before responding with "hey? what's that behind your ear?" before pulling a quarter out from behind the Black M&M's ear, George Washingmachine's bust facing right on it.

This magic trick impressed the Black M&M so much that she forgot why she was even here to begin with, and thus, she ended up befriending Nyaruko-San that day.

Nyaruko-San herself would then enter UnAnything history, by single-handedly cannibalizing the entire race of Autobots and Decepticons the following year.

Getting revenge on Tucker Carlson[]

Since Nyaruko-San and the Black M&M were friends now, Nyaruko opened up another portal out of the goodness of her heart and sent her new friend home.

Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson was chilling on his porch, drinking a glass of Strawberry Kiwi Capri-Sun, the strongest drink there was, before the Black M&M immediately jumped through the portal and tackled Tucker Carlson.

For almost a decade, the Black M&M had been plotting and scheming the most heavy metal way to murder the man who had ruined her life and now she had finally come up with the perfect revenge for this man.

The Black M&M then extended her index finger before putting it into her mouth. She then pulled it out and stuck her saliva coated finger into Tucker Carlson's ear. This was a technique known as "the wet willie from Hell" and it was so powerful that only 10 people in the UnMultiverse were allowed to have knowledge of it at the time.

The saliva from this wet willie from Hell immediately zipped through Tucker's ear and raced through his head until it reached his brain. The saliva then crashed into his brain at mach 5 speeds, causing Mr. Carlson's head to explode in a mess of blood and tacos.

The Black M&M had finally had her revenge.

Currently[]

Today, the Black M&M works as a crew member at the last Blockbuster in the UnUniverse. If you ask her for a movie recommendation, she will always say to watch Battlefield Baseball, no matter what your tastes are.

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