- For legal reasons, this is not financial advice; this article is just satire at the expense of the new super crypto bros.
A bitcoin. I think.
Bitcoin is this weird substance found deep in the internet that thinks that it is money. It is not made of metal (or even paper), and it has no genuine value. Despite this, people decided that it was money so it became money. Bitcoin is currently legal tender on the internet and in some parts of Africa (but they think its food).
Bitcoin was actually created by a janitor at Microsoft. It was originally called Microsoft Money, and was meant to be included in Windows XP, but Bill Gates thought it was a stupid idea and fired the person who created it.
The bitcoin was rediscovered by Forever Alone Guy, Slender Man, and Doge in the early 21st century. It was created to replace the UnDollar, which was swiftly decreasing in value at the time. The bitcoin was made by traveling deep into the datamines of the internet and extracting the moneydata. This moneydata was minted into coindata, and the coindata was smashed into bits, which then became bitcoins.
One day it asploded in worth but only MrBeast was smart enough to invest in it in the early stages, leading to his massive wealth today.