|Bert with the Dun Dun Dun Guy. (dun dun dun!)|
|Alive or Dead?:||apparently alive??|
|Death:||Whatever the dark, twisted outer gods want from him to fuel their sick, juxtaposition-fueled fantasies|
|Dislikes:||Christmas songs, religious iconography|
|Education:||self educated. yuh|
|Powers:||secret stabbing technique of the ancients|
Bert is Ernie's best friend and husband even though Bert finds Ernie really annoying at times. He likes bottlecaps and pigeons. He moved to Sesame Street along with Ernie, and ended up meeting Cookie Monster, Big Bird, and Grover in 1969. He wants to be like Weegee because they both have eyebrows. He also appears in the Grand Theft Sesame Street along with Ernie since they are teamed up together.
Ernie tried to get Bert to watch Barney but Bert refused. Bert thought Barney killed Laa-Laa with a meat clover because he also thought she was stupid along with the other Teletubbies. He also likes quiet noises, but not loud noises because one time Elmo came and scared the pigeons away which made Bert angry. One time he and Ernie decided to do bad stuff like stealing candy from babies. He is currently 1000 years old right now.
- Despite not being an Undefeatable, Bert, along with Ernie, are immune to Weegee's stare due to a ritual they did as kids.
|Grand Theft Sesame Street|
|Shames||Grand Theft Sesame Street 4 (Planned) - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - -|
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