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The Battle of Undefeatable Palace is one of the most epic, climactic conflicts in the history of the UnMultiverse, in which the mighty Cyber-Dee of the Upper Counsel of Undefeatables lost his Undefeatable status. Although various events built up to it for centuries, the battle itself took place in the Undefeatable Palace in 2967. For the first time in OVER 9000 years, the Undefeatables fought within the walls of the palace itself, with Cyber-Dee wielding the Sword of Epic against Chuck Norris himself.
Before the Battle
Breaking the Seal
What makes the Battle of Undefeatable Palace so unique is that it was fought within the palace itself, which is normally impossible. The Undefeatable Palace is surrounded by an invisible, undetectable magic seal that prevents all who enter it from fighting one another. This seal, however, was broken in 2401, when Dr. Robotnik launched the mighty P.I.N.G.A.S. and fired its cannon at the palace. Dr. Robotnik had created the P.I.N.G.A.S. as a massive space station, mounted with a cannon twice its size, to blast through 22 dimensional barriers in one shot, from the UnUniverse all the way to the Undefeatable Palace, but the cannon lacked a suitable power source. Thus, Dr. Robotnik transformed into Super Robotnik, climbed into the cannon, and used himself as a human power source. He nearly put himself in a coma, but his plan (partially) succeeded: the P.I.N.G.A.S.' blast reached all the way to the Undefeatable Palace and broke the seal around it. This tiny crack in the seal went unnoticed, however, as the Undefeatables had much more important things to attend to.
Much More Important Things
The self-styled enemies of the Undefeatables, the PagUns, had started a space colony, orbiting the star Alpha Centauri. Although many of the Undefeatables wanted to wipe the colony out on the spot, they voted to survey the colony and see if the PagUns could finally function as an organized society. As it turned out, their progress was stellar! The scientific, historical, and economical advancements on the Alpha Centauri space colony developed ten times more quickly as they had on the UnWorld. The PagUns used this knowledge to research the origins of the Undefeatables, most especially the Upper Counsel. Eventually, they deduced that Marx, Cyber-Dee, and the T-5001 gained their Undefeatable status and strength by traveling to the dawn of creation from the future, and were much less deserving of their Undefeatable statuses than anyone else on the Upper Counsel. Marx and the T-5001 both laughed this theory off: Marx was an adamant believer in the idea that the source of one's power doesn't matter, only how one masters and uses it, and the T-5001 existed in all points in time through the convoluted time paradox that was its life. Unlike his peers, however, Cyber-Dee felt absolute rage and, for the first time in his eternal life, a shred of vulnerability.
Against the wishes of his fellow Undefeatables, Cyber-Dee flew down to the Alpha Centauri space colony and broke into its largest research facility, which housed the shape-shifting Sword of Epic. The PagUns wanted to change the sword's shape into a time machine and travel to the dawn of creation to become Undefeatables themselves, but they couldn't agree for a suitable blueprint for the time machine they wanted. Seething, Cyber-Dee stole the sword and tucked it away immediately, killing 6000 PagUns in a bloody rage without having to draw the sword once. Then, the T-5001, being one of Cyber-Dee's closest friends, took it upon itself to fly down and personally stop Cyber-Dee, who finally chose to wield his new weapon. Cursing his fellow Undefeatables and calling them "a nest of vipers", Cyber-Dee instinctively transformed the Sword of Epic into the tail of the magical Titanaboa. This serpentine tail had the ability to split anything it hit into two: when Cyber-Dee hit the T-5001 with it, the robot split into the T-5001 and its downgraded self, the T-5000. Cyber-Dee almost manhandled them both, but stopped himself in the nick of time. Nevertheless, these events had angered the almighty Chuck Norris so severely that he punched time itself in frustration, accidentally erasing 168 years.
Suddenly, 168 Years Later
Just like that, the year was 2891. Progress had stagnated across the UnUniverse, but the Alpha Centauri space colony provided a comfortable living for its citizens, farming a valuable resource: Fire Flowers. The Alpha Centauri Fire Flower farms were the finest in the galaxy, and people across solar systems flocked to them, left and right. Unfortunately, one of those people was the maniacal Malleo, who used Fire Flowers to achieve inhuman strength and, allegedly, immortality. He was immediately restricted from entering the colony and had no way of sneaking past the security or breaking in...at least, not without an Undefeatable at his side. Malleo convinced Cyber-Dee to use his full force against the space colony and wipe everyone out, but failed to realize just how much strength Cyber-Dee had. The Undefeatable wiped out the inhabitants of the colony, the colony itself, and the fabric of reality in the general area of the colony. Nothing remained but a portal to the 4th Dimension, and Malleo mysteriously disappeared. Nobody knows where he went, but he soon returned as part of a fusion of other people named WeeMalSheeGas. Meanwhile, Chuck Norris had been trying to repair the flow of time, but his hands were still trembling with rage and he erased 76 years. It was then that Cyber-Dee arrived at the Undefeatable Palace with the Sword of Epic in tow.
Every member of the Upper Counsel of Undefeatables is virtually equal in power, with the exception of Chuck Norris, who is the strongest of all. However, Cyber-Dee was equipped with the Sword of Epic, possibly putting his strength on par with Chuck Norris'. Thus, the Undefeatables quickly began to take sides.
- Jesus Christ
- Mr. Rogers
- Hyper Sonic
- Captain 0
- Gravity Cat
- Santa Claus
- Abraham Lincoln
- Squilliam Fancyson
- Paul Bunyan, for one of the few times he ever went up there, and stayed mostly outside due to his sheer height
- Ed Edd N Eddy
- Bruce Lee
- Dora the Explorer
- Super Eviler Bowser
- Giygas (who had been a part of WeeMalSheeGas, but used his powers to make an identical clone of himself)
Note: The Awesome One is not on this list for top-secret, highly classified reasons. And no, it's not because he's secretly an alter-ego of Chuck Norris. That would just be ridiculous. Same for Mr. T and a few others, including GOD.
The teams had been set, ready to fight each other: friend against friend, brother against brother. Each Undefeatable launched themselves at one another at the height of their power, without holding back...except one. Chuck Norris still trod lightly, hoping to neutralize Cyber-Dee instead of using his full force against him, as he watched the Undefeatable Palace crumble around him. Walls cracked, pillars shattered, smoke entered from a pipe, and a chunk of ceiling somehow flattened Giygas (turns out Paul's arm had got zapped by a nuke, and his head partially fell on the roof in pain, causing some ceiling to fall.) The original Giygas was still alive, of course, but the battle was clearly spiraling out of control. Chuck watched Hyper Sonic run out of energy and become Sonic again, flinging him out of the palace in the nick of time. He watched Batman's gadgets malfunction, one by one, as he literally caught a bullet for him. Chuck served both as a protector and a destroyer: he worked to save his team from certain doom while putting Team Cyber-Dee in his place. He bought the rights to 3 and sold them to Valve, which was a low blow: they couldn't count to him. Chuck killed Mabel again and again to watch her ressurect herself, just so he could do it once more. He cycled the T-5001 through all five of his main forms, compressing his planet-sized Final Form into an impossibly dense, basketball-sized sphere wil a well-placed roundhouse kick. He even engaged Bruce Lee in battle, but was distracted by Bob Saget, the only member of Team Cyber-Dee who could reasonably slow him down. Bob Saget sent ripples through reality upon engaging Chuck Norris, and had temporarily broken the concept of religion after banishing Jesus to Hell. Chuck, however, forced Bob Saget to his knees and returned Jesus to his rightful place. By now, both teams had exhausted themselves, with their leaders standing proudly without so much as a scratch. Cyber-Dee had not attacked anyone throughout the entire battle, instead relying on his Matrix-like reflexes to dodge the debris and chaos around him, but now he was ready to unleash his most powerful attack.
Many of the Undefeatables had some kind of shape-shifting power, but there was one thing they dared not turn into: Chuck Norris' Tears. This legendary substance, when swallowed, would grant its user the power of Chuck Norris himself. Cyber-Dee, in a blatant act of blasphemy, did exactly that: he turned the Sword of Epic into Chuck Norris' tear and swallowed it. Chuck was aghast: coupled with his own strength, Cyber-Dee's reflexes and martial arts skills could actually prove to be a significant threat. Luckily, Cyber-Dee was still blinded by rage, and almost became literally blind when Chuck crushed his visor into his face. Erupting with the boiling steam of wrath, Cyber-Dee relied on his other senses to zero in on Chuck Norris, including the Sixth Sense, a martial arts technique that had only been perfected by one other person: Bruce Lee. Yes, Cyber-Dee found Chuck Norris, but Chuck also found him. They matched each other blow for furious blow, sending ripples across reality itself. Time shifted forward and backward, planets aligned and unaligned, and people popped in and out of existence. Some of these people shouted things like "You have to stop this", "Are you insane?", "You've caused a catastrophe" and "Everyone's a loser in this fight". Cyber-Dee used the waxing and waning existences of the people around him to send Chuck a message by breaking reality itself and reshaping it: "You are a loser".
Now it was Chuck's turn to lose his cool, although he had to admire Cyber-Dee's dedication and nearly artisanal method of toying with existence itself. After thousands of millennia, Cyber-Dee had let his power go to his head, and the time had finally come to take it away. To grant an Undefeatable their power and status is a long and arduous process, but to remove that power is instantaneous. With a wave of his hand, Chuck Norris sifted through reality itself and plucked out Cyber-Dee's Undefeatable nomination like a stray hair. Cyber-Dee, however, was undeterred: his gut still burned with the power of Chuck Norris' tear. When he realized what Chuck had done, however, Cyber-Dee froze on the spot, thunderstruck. Had Chuck Norris really revoked his Undefeatable status? As Cyber-Dee wasted a split second to ponder his fate, Chuck punched him in the stomach with such force that he upchucked Chuck's tear. The tear transformed back into the Sword of Epic and, as usual, sprouted legs and ran off to find its next owner. Chuck, meanwhile, lifted Cyber-Dee and tossed him into the 25th dimension, a backwards copy of the UnUniverse called the UnUnUniverse. Cyber-Dee lived out the rest of his days in the UnUnUniverse, dying of natural causes at an unknown date, buried in an unmarked grave. Compared to others who have crossed Chuck Norris, he got off easy.
After the Battle
The Undefeatable Palace was rebuilt, and the flow of time returned to normal without any external influence. With an empty seat on the Upper Counsel of Undefeatables, Chuck Norris wanted to promote someone from the Lower Counsel and, while he was mulling over his options, was approached by Bruce Lee. Bruce regretted missing his earlier sparring match with Chuck Norris due to Bob Saget's interference, not to mention turning on Chuck in the first place. Most of the members of Team Cyber-Dee were affiliated with Hell in some way, and had joined for the sake of following Bob Saget, who had been eager to justify his origin as a foil to Chuck Norris. The T-5001 had joined out of loyalty to his friend, with whom his past self, the T-5000, didn't know well enough to feel the same way. Bruce Lee, however, genuinely believed that he could defeat Chuck Norris. Chuck admired Bruce's courage and honesty, admitting that he was one of the few Undefeatables on the Lower Counsel that could even make him bat an eye, and decided to promote him to the Upper Counsel of Undefeatables if he could find the source of the conflict that had transpired. Bruce used his Sixth Sense to detect the crack in the Seal of Neutrality, which the Upper Counsel repaired. Bruce served well on the Upper Counsel for over a millennium, until he had a disagreement with Chuck Norris in the wake of World War III, when he and Chuck were surveying the devastated UnWorld. Their disagreement led to conflict, their conflict led to fighting, and their fighting led to the End of Days, which ended the UnUniverse as we know it.