Bruce "Batman" Wayne
Beware the Batman
Gender: Male (usually)
Hair color: "Batty" (see what I did there?)
Eye color: Red
Species: Human/Bat Hybrid
Home: The Batcave
Death: Faked his death after fighting Superman, then was actually killed by horrible writing
AKA: Bats
Likes: Bats
Dislikes: Clowns
Education: Private school
Occupation: Businessman/Vigilante
UnRank: 82,517
Not to be confused with his lame rip off, Fatman, or Dr. Batman, a guy with the same name as Batman.

Batman is a kickbutt strong guy with throat cancer who dresses like a bat. Why does he do this? Please see below, and it will tell you! If only people read these days. Batman is also the star in the hit movie Batman & Robin. Batman is now currently residing at a bat cave where bats usually poop everywhere and sleep like a lazy bum.


He is a child, but then some guy comes up, and kills his parents, so he became Batman

Bruce Wayne was a child of very rich people. They were so rich, they paid people so they could burn money. They took little Bruce to a money burning building, but Doctor Square stopped them, and shot his parents. He cried, and then cried some more. Then, he stopped crying, and got a bat costume. He played bat for while, and eventually swallowed a bat, then he became Batman.

He beats up villains, does some other stuff, and becomes very successful

Bruce then started his life as a hero. He beat up bad guys, just like YOU! He got a name for himself, and he even beat his greatest villains! The Joker got beat up. And Darth Vader? He didn't stand a chance against Batman. Even gods were beat by him!

Nothing else really happened, so he took a nap. When he woke up, the Cold War had started

See above.

Batman fought Superman during the Cold War, faked his death, and was then legitimately killed by bad writing

During the Cold War, the police finally decided to raise an eyebrow at Batman's "heroic" actions and send in another superhero to kill him. This superhero turned out to be Superman, who was also Batman's best friend. After the two of them quarrelled and tussled for a bit, Batman pulled a fast one over his super-powered pal and pretended to have died. This led Superman to believe that he had killed his own best friend, leaving him with bitterness and anguish in his heart. Then, like the jerk he is, Batman decided to appear out of nowhere once again, just so he could prove to the world that he wasn't really dead. At this point, the epic saga of Batman became so gut-wrenchingly terrible that Batman was officially declared least, to his fans. Then again, he's a superhero, so that's essentially all that matters.


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