Not to be mistaken for Barney Calhoun.
- This is the child-eating dinosaur. If you were looking for the man that still owes Gordon Freeman a beer, then go to the link above. If you were looking for the man that still owes Homer Simpson 9001 beers, then go see Barney Gumble. If you were looking for the man that still owes Fred Flintstone a box of Fruity Pebbles, then go here. If you're looking for the legen-wait for it-dary guy, then go see Barney Stinson.
This isn't any anti-Barney picture. This is THE anti-Barney picture.
|Home:||Barney's Top Secret HQ|
|Death:||He ate himself, but respawned. He Popped.|
|Dislikes:||The Color Purple|
|Education:||He runs a school, but they teach how to eat people.|
|Occupation:||Jumping up and down.|
|Known For:||Being Extinct|
Barney was a stupid and evil purple dinosaur that's probably a pedophile. He likes killing little things like Oompa Loompas and kittens. He was sent by Bowser to get Lotsa Spaghetti from Malleo in Mama Luigi's shame called: Mama Luigi's Mansion. He also can time travel and meets with the dinosaurs from long ago, but can't stop the Asteroid from hitting Earth. This could be a reason why he is evil, as he is one of the last Dinosaurs.
He uses his Evil Mind Control to convince little kids that he is not evil, then he sings and dances with them. After they turn the cameras off, he eats them, and he gathers new kids. He does this for sport, not for food. When hes hungry, he just eats Pickles and Nachos. Though sometimes he snacks on Innocent Children because of the fiber he doesn't get.
Worse, he is one of the silver aces of the Supreme Golden Ace Invasion Organization.Barney lives at Barney's Top Secret HQ with his minions Baby Bop, BJ, and Riff. He plots his next attacks there. He enjoys using his Technology to conquer the world. He has never conquered the world, but you just wait!
He is purple due to a radioactive explosion that took place during Radioactive Man's rampage. He uses his purpleness to make people see purple. Then he EATS THEM! If he doesn't eat them, he rolls them in bread crumbs, cooks them at 350 or until golden brown, puts them in the refrigerator, and reheats them later.
Barney was born in some ancient time a long time ago. He lived in Ancient Sesame Street while he was a regular dinosaur, but was chased out by cavemen. He then went to a different street, and claimed it as HIS territory!
Eventually, children were invented, and he started eating them. This became a sort of hobby. He started eating more children than everyone else combined!
He opened a store called "Barney's Store", and nobody knows what he sold there. It closed down after the Police went in, so Barney ate them. He then turned into a super-dino, and destroyed everything in his path.
Barney now continues his job of eating innocent kids while avoiding attention from the police (because he eats them). A jihad started against him called "The Jihad to Destroy Barney".
He can be summoned anytime by saying the ancient Tamaranean incantation, "Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination. And when he's tall hes what we call a dinosaur sensation." So, you don't want to say that unless you want Barney to show up and eat you whole. Which he does A LOT.
However, on Thanksgiving 97', he was acting as one of the Balloons in the Parade, so He can collect some of His Victims. Then, a Strong Wind Blew Barney to a Lamp Post, which proceeded to Puncture Him. Since Barney was Acting like a Balloon, all of his Insides spewed out, and he Died. Apparently, He can't Respawn because he Owes Shaggy Rogers 5,000 Scooby Snacks.
Proof of Barney's Evil
- The character of Barney is well-described as a "cute purple dinosaur".
- The former Latin alphabet used the letter V in place of U.
- Therefore the above phrase is modified to "cvte pvrple dinosavr".
- Letters that do not represent Roman numerals are removed, leaving: "c v v l d i v"
- When the remaining numbers 100, 5, 5, 50, 500, 1, and 5 are added, the result is 666.
- This also works with "lovable purple dinosaur". This gives the letters "l v l v l d i v", which in turn gives 50, 5, 50, 5, 50, 500, 1, and 5, which also add up to 666.
- Barney has an axe and he will cut a person who hates him in HALF!
- One time, he kidnapped a bunch of kids and stuffed them into an old warehouse, he then proceeded to set the warehouse on fire, killing all the kids inside.
DO NOT EAT AT ALL COSTS, side effects include vomiting, explosive diarrhea, being possessed by multiple demons, AIDS, your eyes popping out, bones randomly breaking, seizures, and exploding and it tastes like the poop of a diseased Florida man
|"Love" and "Friendship"||Barney calls his friends and they all beat you up really bad, leaving a rose behind.|