- This is the child-eating dinosaur. If you were looking for the man that still owes Gordon Freeman a beer, then go to the link above. If you were looking for the man that still owes Homer Simpson 9001 beers, then go see Barney Gumble. If you were looking for the man that still owes Fred Flintstone a box of Fruity Pebbles, then go here. If you're looking for the legen-wait for it-dary guy, then go see Barney Stinson.
OSHOOT! THERE’S TOO MANY RED LINKS!1!!
Please create new feature-length articles from said links, re-link them to pre-existing articles, or write them out like you're factoring x out.
OSHOOT! THERE’S TOO MANY RED LINKS!1!!
Please create new feature-length articles from said links, re-link them to pre-existing articles, or write them out like you're factoring x out.
Barney is a stupid and evil purple dinosaur who has several restraining orders made against him. He likes killing small things, like the Oompa Loompas and cute, innocent kittens. He was sent by Bowser to get Lotsa Spaghetti from Malleo in Mama Luigi's shame called: Mama Luigi's Mansion. He also time traveled a lot and met with the dinosaurs from long ago, but never once did he try to stop the Asteroid from hitting Earth. This could be the reason why he is evil, as he is one of the last Dinosaurs alive.
He uses his Evil Mind Control to convince little kids that he is not evil and that his wicked, ancient rituals are nothing but innocent songs and dances. After they turn the cameras off, he devours them in front of the whole production crew, who are the ones who helped feed his vicious, murderous cycle. He does this for sport, not for food, though. When hungry, he will simply eat Pickles and Nachos. Sometimes he may snack on Innocent Children, sure, but that is because his diet lacks fiber.
Barney lives at Barney's Top Secret HQ with his minions Baby Bop, BJ, and Riff. He plots his next attacks there. He enjoys using his Technology to conquer the world. He has never conquered the world, but just you wait!
He is purple due to a radioactive explosion that took place during Radioactive Man's rampage. He uses his purpleness to make people see purple. Then he EATS THEM! If he doesn't eat them, he roll them in bread crumbs, cooks them at 350 or until golden brown, puts them in the refrigerator, and reheats them for later.
History[]
Barney was born in some ancient time a long time ago. He lived in Ancient Sesame Street while he was a regular dinosaur, but was chased out by cavemen. He then went to a different street, and claimed it as HIS territory!
Eventually, children were invented, and he started eating them. This became a sort of hobby. He started eating more children than everyone else combined!
Barney on a normal day, until the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers show up and battle him with their Megazord
He opened a store called "Barney's Store", and nobody knows what he sold there. It closed down after the Police went in, so Barney ate them. He then turned into a super-dino, and destroyed everything in his path.
Barney now continues his job of eating innocent kids while avoiding attention from the police (because he eats them). A jihad started against him called "The Jihad to Destroy Barney".
He can be summoned anytime by saying the ancient Tamaranean incantation:
Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination;
and when he's tall he's wiping out the human population
So, you don't want to say that unless you want Barney to show up and eat you whole. Which he does A LOT.
Thanksgiving '97. The day Barney was killed
This is the video that shows Barney gets killed in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade at Times Square (November 27th 1997)
However, on Thanksgiving '97, he was acting as one of the balloons in the parade, so he can collect some of his victims. Then, a strong wind blew Barney to a lamp post, which proceeded to impale him! THE HORROR!
Since Barney was acting like a balloon, all of his insides spewed out, and he DIEd. Apparently, he can't respawn because he owes Shaggy Rogers 5,000 Scooby Snacks, but... he has already paid 69,420, he will be back someday
Proof of Barney's Evil[]
- The character of Barney is well-described as a "cute purple dinosaur".
- The former Latin alphabet used the letter V in place of U.
- Therefore the above phrase is modified to "cvte pvrple dinosavr".
- Letters that do not represent Roman numerals are removed, leaving: "c v v l d i v"
- When the remaining numbers 100, 5, 5, 50, 500, 1, and 5 are added, the result is 666.
- This also works with "lovable purple dinosaur". This gives the letters "l v l v l d i v", which in turn gives 50, 5, 50, 5, 50, 500, 1, and 5, which also add up to 666.
Reboot[]
- Main Article: Barney (2023 TV series)
Some Time ago, Mattel said they will be rebooting Barney. The way he will look was so terrifying, People were so mad that they wanted to destroy Mattel and call Saul to dededestroy them, and hope to make the show cease existing in some way. Heck, Bob the Builder and Squadala Man got mad at his reboot, and even ranted about it. IF IT DOES AIR, SEEK SHELTER ANYWAY!
Trivia[]
- Despite being imprisoned at The German Prison, Barney was supposedly the warden. However, this is disputed.
- Barney is a boss in the Uzi's Revenge DLC of Super Mario 131.
- Some people think he's related to Big as they are both large, purple creatures. However, Big is more like a bear and is a good guy.
- Barney once had Type 2 Diabeetus, so he kidnapped Wilford Brimley and tortured him into making a cure, Barney, being the evil dinosaur he is, killed Wilford and kept the cure for himself, which is ironic considering he died from the balloon incident a few days later, so if you're unlucky (or reckless) enough to have a useless pancreas not letting you have Cake unless you get a syringe to the buttocks, Barney is to blame
- Some people also think that he might've been Monika of the 1990s, who she also loves you by killing the others.
- He can fuse together with Thomas the Tank Engine to become Thomas The Barney Engine
- One time, he kidnapped a bunch of kids and stuffed them into an old warehouse, he then proceeded to set the warehouse on fire, killing all the kids inside. This was dubbed "The Barney's Fried Children Incident", and is considered the darkest moment in Warrior Cats history.
Gallery[]
Forgotten Stanza
Barney comes to play with You whenever you are pissing, and his laser breath will kill you if he sees you slipping
Forgotten Stanza
Barney comes to play with You whenever you are pissing, and his laser breath will kill you if he sees you slipping
DO NOT EAT AT ALL COSTS, side effects include vomiting, explosive diarrhea, being possessed by multiple demons, AIDS, your eyes popping out, bones randomly breaking, seizures, and exploding. And it tastes like the p-BANG
DO NOT EAT AT ALL COSTS, side effects include vomiting, explosive diarrhea, being possessed by multiple demons, AIDS, your eyes popping out, bones randomly breaking, seizures, and exploding. And it tastes like the p-BANG
I think he got possessed by something strange. I've got top secret information on Barney. I think he might be affiliated with Cap-BANG
I think he got possessed by something strange. I've got top secret information on Barney. I think he might be affiliated with Cap-BANG
We're back!
Don't worry, kids, you can eat me any time!