You do realize how stupid you sound, right?
—Balan, as Foodini was trying to stop him from pulling the screwdriver out of the Demon Core
Balanesius Vespa (more commonly known as Balan) is a being that was formed from the thoughts of those plagued by their daily lives. Those who were unhappy with their current situations. Balan presented himself as a therapist-like figure to these people, but soon back-stabbed them by re-traumatizing them. Once they are reduced to a sobbing mess on the floor, he feeds upon his victims' mental energy and leaves, satiated. Behind his kind facade, he is a maestro of pure pain (and pure pain accessories).
Balan is the founder of the Top Hat Mafia, a gang feared by several other groups. Alongside his cohorts, Foodini and Topham, the group travels the UnWorld, conquering smaller towns and terrorizing the residents. His cruelty isn't limited to random people, though, as he frequently mistreats his fellow gang members by sending them into extremely dangerous situations, just because he doesn't want to get himself dirty.
He is very good at psychological scarring, but is horrible when it comes to fighting. He has about as much resilience as a ramen noodle, which may be an insult to ramen noodles.
He has been known to use people, not seeming to care about what they're capable of. For example, he used A.B.A.'s desire for her husband to become human as a way to try and obtain control over her. He also used Boyd Cooper's feeble mind in order to destroy a Psychonaut base with Molotovs, which he did (eventually). He does not seem to care whether people like him or not, he will use anyone to get what he wants.
Balan has not been seen in weeks, as of April 10th, 2024. All that has been recovered is a note from him, stating that he "was going to start a new life, perhaps stardom... The theater is calling once again!"
Trivia[]
- Balan is skilled in the sacred art of the Horror Show, but not nearly as so as Foodini.
- He's a bit of a "nice guy" when it comes to women, as he has flirted numerous times with Iwasaki.
- He's most often seen cleaning himself off and trying to improve arbitrary characteristics about himself, or assuming the identity of another person for a stealth mission (which he sometimes helps with)
- He once had a few children that he kidnapped to do his bidding, but they all died from cardiac arrest soon after being enlisted.
- He's doing something that we don't know about yet...
- He was nearly brutally murdered by A.B.A for manipulating her and touching her husband Paracelsus.
- Underneath his hat is a horrible, disgusting secret no mortal man was meant to see.
- Cappy has claimed no familial association with Balan.
- He used to have a sister BUT THEN ALONG CAME GOENITZ HE HURLED HIS KOKO DESU KA
- Balan just got shot (to death, maybe) by Sasha Nein.
"LETS FUCKING GO RIP BOZO BALAN IS FUCKING DEAD WOOOOO!!!!"-Balalaika
