Bagel

If you were looking for a particular breed of dog, here it is: Beagle.

Or, is it the bagel?

—Luigi

MY NAMES NOT BAGEL!!!

—BASIL

A bagel is the name given to a particular food that looks like a donut without any flavour on top of it. Bagel is the tasteless counterpart of donuts and was originated in 1683. The creator of bagels is unknown. Contrary to some beliefs, a bagel is not a donut. It's actually a type of bread, not a breed of a dog.

Bagels were soon the sons & daughters of Luigi. So, he made a movie where Luigi eats a rotten bagel and kills everyone, called Bagel Movie. It is almost as scary as Super Mario Vampires on PBS Kids.

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Suggestions:

Put peanut butter or jelly at the top of a bagel.
~~We recommend you put crap on your bagel.~~ Never mind, that's actually a bad idea.
Make sure you chew it properly.