Where did you learn to fly?
—Some Jaguar shame about flying
A worthless keypad, reversed SEGA Shaming System 2 buttons (C,B, A) like Nintendo and dumb cartridges? What the hell is this?
The Atari Jaguar is a console, alright. It was also Atari's last major console before they pulled a SEGA and gave up like a sissy. It had weird cartridges (no end-labels, NOOOOOOO!!!) and an ugly but actually comfortable controller. This thing was advertised to "Do The Math" although ironically it did not Do The Math and failed whilst the Play Station, SNES and Genesis lived on. Besides, who put math near my shaming systems? It also claimed to be 64 bit but it was more 16 bit.
When you turn this bastard on, you'll meet a cubed Jaguar that looks like Tierboskat growling at you before the shame starts, but if the shame can't be read the Tierboskat lookalike doesn't show up (he still growls though!) and JAGUAR appears on a red screen. This happens a LOT of times and to make shit worse there's no dust flap (Unlike the Super Nintendo Entertainment System) and the contacts are extremely sensitive.
Shames[]
- Cybermorph: This shame has you fly a 3d plane through space with a green alien head asking where you learnt to fly when you hit something.
- Attack of the Mutant Penguins: Yep, this shame exists. You go around collecting letters that spell BAT and beat up mutant penguins.
- Doom: This big motherfucker keeps proving that it can run on everything and the Jaguar is no exception. Just one problem, there's no music.
- Tempest 2000: Heck yeah! This is one of the most simple yet best shames on the Jaguar, despite it just being an arcade-based shame. The music slaps too!
- Grand Theft Sesame Street: Planned, but never released because this console was a failure. You can find the ROM online very easily nowadays. So technically it exists.
- There was some random ninja fighting shame but it's so boring talking about it would be a waste of time.
Jaguar CD[]
Yes, just like SEGA. The Jaguar CD is a real and really real thing. And let's get something clear right now: It looks like a toilet. It also doesn't work. End of story.