*buzzing intensifies*
As technology in watches moves on, Apple had to jump on the train and release the cleverly named Apple Watch. But it's all show and no go, why? I'll tell you!
First things first, let's talk about notifications! Remember when your wrist only tingled when you got a text or a call? Well, say goodbye to those blissful, distraction-free moments! With the Apple Watch, your wrist becomes a nonstop buzzing sensation with notifications from every app you've ever installed on your iPhone and Apple Watch that will only shut up when either the battery dies, you take the battery out or you shoot it with a gun. Your wrist is now a morse code machine tapping out relentlessly about all your updates, reminders and alerts. Did I forget to mention that these bastards have the EAS Alert System virus pre-installed? Bullshit! It's like a tiny and persistent mosquito nipping your skin reminding you about a new eMail, low step count and an upcoming meeting all at once. It’s like Apple made it to annoy people to the point of smashing their Un$300+ glass on a wrist.
Oh and because Apple loves money, the bastard made constant revisions every year, just like the IPhone. There's the Apple Watch Ultra and the banned in the UnUS Ultra 2 which is stronger than Bedrock that lasts A FUCKING DAY AND A HALF to the Apple Watch SE which is OK at the very best to these Apple Watch Series watches that keep getting better and worse-er. There's a Series 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 , 7, 8 and even the banned 9! All of them add something useless because the screen is so small so you need your pinky to use it, or a 3DS stylus (huh?).
You may have noticed that some of them are banned in the United States of UnAmerica and that's because they stole blood oxygen technology from a little company out there that we won't name out of pitty.