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Apple (company) is a WANTED article!

This means it is among the best UnAnything has to offer! It has been WANTED as of September 2022! Treat it with respect! Go here to see all WANTED articles.

Apple (company) is a WANTED article!

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This means it is among the best UnAnything has to offer! It has been WANTED as of September 2022! Treat it with respect! Go here to see all WANTED articles.

Not to be confused with the things you eat nom nom nom.
Apple logo soviet

The hammer and sickle are a distraction; this is DE­FIN­ITE­LY a capitalist company.

Apple, called Malus Domestica by the professionals, is a company founded by Steve Jobs to bring you the crappiest technology for the most expensive price. It was actually a really good idea, because people are stupid and they all fell for it. Apple is now one of the most successful businesses in the entire UnWorld, as it feeds off of this great stupidity.

History

Apple was originally formed by Steve Jobs. A few other guys have attempted to take credit for its creation, but they are liars. Steve Jobs started the company when he invented the iPod and sold it on the internet. When it became popular, he realized he could become a rich person. He started a store and sold the Mac. He attracted 12 customers in the first three years. Morshu was three of these customers.

Everything changed when Steve Jobs invented the Macintosh. He figured that the more crap he built, the more money he would get. He was right. People loved it, and Apple became the most successful store on the entire street.

Playing on his success, he opened several more Apple stores and started inventing lotsa different gadgets. These gadgets were famous for breaking shortly after buying them and being really overpriced. Many of them did not even work at all. But people kept buying them, and Steve Jobs kept taking their money.

The company started to go downhill after Steve Jobs made one fatal mistake. He declared himself more successful than Chuck Norris. Deciding Steve Jobs was not worth a roundhouse kick, Chuck simply spit on him and left him to die. With Steve Jobs dead, Nobody was able to keep Apple successful. Only time will tell what will happen next. Silver could tell what will happen next because he's from the future, but we don't care about what he thinks. Until Tim Cook took over, making Apple make good products again.

But then Tim was killed by Steve, who created the Apple Card.

Apple[ / ]
Puters [ / ]
Phones [ / ]
iPhone - iPhone 2 - iPhone 3 - iPhone 4 - iPhone 5 - iPhone 6 - iPhone 7 - iPhone 8 (unreleased) - iPoor (called iPhone 9 in beta testing) - iPhone 10 - iPhone X - iPhone 11 - iPhone 12 (AKA the iPad 3) - iPhone 13 - iPhone 14 - iPhone 15 - iPhone 666 - iPhone SE - iPhone Infinity - Bowser's iPhone
Pads [ / ]
iPad - iPad 2 - iPad Pro
Pods [ / ]
People [ / ]
Steve Jobs - Tim Cook - Siri - iSheep
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