I believe that the age of consent shall be 13.
—Random Anon, being a messed up pitied fool
A drawing of an Anon.
An Anon can be anyone that is hidden under anonymity. However, there are many types. The most common type is the one who's a real asshat to others and believe that they can do whatever shit they want. They will shit on anything people like, and they're particularly common in the depths of 4chan. They'll probably even try to rant on the creators of the UnUniverse!!! This page will TRY TO document all types of Anons possible. Maybe even You are an anon.
The hell is an Anon??[]
As said briefly in the article, an Anon can be anyone with anonymity under a secret government web network. There are many types, such as the 30 Year Old Fat Anon, a Religious Anon, or a lonely incel Anon. There are some good Anons, but there are more bad Anons than good.
The Fat 30 Year Old Anon[]
The Average 30 y.o. Anon.
A leaked Anon image of him playing Minecraft IRL.
SHE WAS 26 IN DOG YEARS!!
—Fatass Anon, being a dumbass
The 30 Year Old Anon (preferably called Fat Anon) are people who have no girlfriends, live with their poor 50 year old parents, no social media (rare cases of 30 y.o Anons have Discord), and their only communication is World of Warcraft. (or any other MMORPG, or Discord. No one cares anyways.) These Anons are notoriously famous for being so desperate to get a lover, even attempting to bring down the age of consent to 13. They will seduce anybody who says they're a girl, and when caught they will make a shit excuse, hence "SHE WAS 26 IN DOG YEARS!!".
Rare cases are usually of independent fatasses and can be found mainly on Discord, moderating. They are also made fun of in memes, particularly Youtube. They WILL ban whoever disrespects them, but who cares at this point?
To defeat this Anon, you must have perfect equipment (e.g an actor, camera to expose, phone) and must rein the Anon in your grip. When the time is right, expose them and show proof to police. They will ABSOLUTELY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE ANON FOR DOING DISGUSTING THINGS!!!!
The Troll Religion Anon[]
A stock photo accurately describing what a Religious Anon looks like.
Come and join us in [insert parody], and let us worship thy [insert thing, anything].
—An example of an "enlightener"
This is a very weird specimen! Why, you might ask? Well, these are anons only found in 4chan and usually want to spread the word of some random religion (probably a parody religion). A religion that is sometimes spread is the Spaghetti God Religion. Because of this, people associate these Anons with trolls. However, there was an incident where a serious "parody" religion invaded 4chan, spreading their gospel about weird drawings (What losers).
There is no way to defeat them. These Anons must be avoided at ALL TIMES. DO. NOT. TALK. TO. THEM. They are probably weird trolls who have gone through an emo phase and will try to actually talk you into joining the religion.
The Lonely Involuntary Celibate[]
LOL, what a nerd.
Dude, come on, I definitely have a girlfriend!! It's just that I can't tell you guys who she is!!
—Lonely Anon
Usually called Lonely Anon, these are people trying to claim that they do have a life. Similar to the 30 Year Old Anon, the Lonely Anon has no girlfriend, but they aren't fat and living with parents. They are people who boast about having a life, and can be found on Youtube and other stuff. They're usually always called out (like who would boast that they have a girlfriend?), but never respond in defeat. They'll say, "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU THINK I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, I DO!!!!".
To defeat this insisting anon, you must keep throwing insults at them for every sentence that you say. At one point, they will give up and cry themselves to sleep.
Green Anon[]
No Picture Available
—Their FACES, which are the greatest in Koridai.
An ancient breed of Anon derived from Grey Men are the Green Anons. Their unusually forest-like appearance is attributed to their diet, which consists of yellow pages and the tears of stupid people. They try and ascend over Heaven via their green skins and business suits.
If you wish to challenge this anon, don't because you're stupid. Everybody knows anyone who opposes them will be destroyed. These guys aren't deaf nor blind to your incompetence, have years of trolling experience, and will laugh at you as they PWN you instantly.
What you should do instead is sabotage a Green Anon's supply of nutrition and have him convert back into a Gray Man. Whilst it might seem reasonable to have him die from dehydration rather than starvation on first thought, Green Anons have abundances of stupid people tears, so you should target his yellow pages instead.
The Religious Anon[]
A "Christian" anon caught in the act.
Repent for your sins!! God will kill you in the rapture, because you don't believe in him!!
—A weirdo, acting like.. a weirdo.
These people are just.. why?? Religious Anons are ONLY found on Youtube, "spreading the Word" and "spreading the Gospel" when in reality they're just so annoying to commenters. They are probably fat people living with their parents (NOT A 30 YEAR OLD ANON) trying to "spread" the Gospel and conspiracy theories. They only tarnish the reputation of Christianity (or, in rare cases, Islam). They use religions as an excuse to tell people to shut up and make themselves feel better, when, in reality, they are only making people angrier.
Just avoid them and you'll be okay.
Scary Hacker Anon[]
So scary!! 🥶
See Anonymous for more info. But if you don't want to, here's a brief summary:
Scary Hacker Anons are people claiming they can DDOS large companies and shut them down for a while. They will try to use it to their advantage to make people follow their "group". But don't mess with fucking Anonymous! They're actually hackers.
Anyways, if people claim to know how to hack you, ask them, "Okay then, what the fuck is a hard drive then??" and they'll be dumbfounded.
As stated above, what you need to do to defeat this Anon is to ask them simple questions everybody that knows what a computer can and cannot do can answer.
Some questions can be:
- Do you know what NVIDIA is?
- What is a hard drive?
- How does a PC work?
- How do monitors work?
If they cannot answer all these, they're a fake. if they are, avoid them, but if they insist, bash them with insults and tell them they're a bad person. :(
Bot Anon[]
The Bot Anon is a type of bot that is anonymous that will spam the comment sections with advertisements leading to different Youtube Videos, or bot scam sites. Some are good, some are bad, but they're all annoying. Some advertise sites that pirate movies for use of free watching, and some advertise scam dating websites. AVOID THESE TYPES OF ANONS IF YOU CAN. THEY'RE EVIL.