I AM NOT ADOLF HITLER, COMMANDER OF THE THIRD REICH! Little known fact: ALSO DOPE ON ZE MIC!
—Alois Schmingis, in his rip-off, Hitler: The Musical
Alois Schmingis is the father of Adolf Hitler and the guy who made the legendary mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-mega-gun.
The Mothler[]
Alois Schmingis' mom was a really big Austrian hooker that went all over the country to have false-positive relations with a whole bunch of guys. She slept with at least 42 * 100 - 13^2 + √16 * 100 + 2^10 - 8 - 43 men. Of those men, one was named Hiedler, another was Hütler, one more was Hatler, and another was Hetler. None of those guys got the mom pregnant, but it was one of the guys she danced on.
His Nameler[]
Alois was born with his mom's last name because no one could find the father. He also had those guys' last names because those were the only guys someone could find who fricked his mom. Later in his life, he took his mother's brother's cousin's former college roommate's last name, Hitler, because it sounded mega cool 42 times.
Early Lifeler[]
He was an orphan put into the German orphan wing of The German Prison and got a good enough education so that he could become an awesome actor in N'murica.
But before that, he had no friends because of his toothbrush mustache that was super stupid and his dumb bowler hat. He coped by having baby tantrums that would land him into The German Prison proper. Obviously, real prison screwed this guy so much that he eventually became Hitler's dad.
When he was five, he created the Mega*42 so he could try to find his real father. It didn't work. Idiot.
American Actler[]
This guy became a Hollywood actor in the mid-1800s and starred in many B-movies and TV shows but he asked to not be in the credits of them because of how complete Completely terrible they were.
He became famous for his role in the movie, The Hitler Movie. He starred as the 'Dolf himself and made him look like a tism. Hitler didn't like this, so he tried to get Alois killded, but he FAILED.
Being an actor in Hollywood, he got to see the terrible stuff that was going on. A whole bunch of directors and actors were doing the bad stuff. He wanted to tell someone but if he did, he would be asplode due to the stuff that's in the water around Hollywood if he did.
The hidden stuff in Hollywood made him go insane. So insane, that he went back in time to meet the Hitler Mom, Hitler's mother, and do her.
Hitler's Dadler[]
Hitler was born for the first time in Austria, so Alois had to take care of him and not become a Bollywood actor. Becoming a Bollywood actor was his secondary dream, so it made him sad that he had to take care of baby Adolf. But maybe this could be epic, he thought, if he raised Hitler like a normal person.
So, he took care and loved Hitler like any father would love Hitler. But everything would go south when Hitler turned the first Mega42 times into a buzzsaw to cut down all the trees in Germany. Alois hated that the five-year-old Adolf turned his gun into a buzzsaw, so he punished him severely.
Because of that event, Alois would punish Hitler for everything wrong that he did, forgetting that he was supposed to prevent Führer Hitler, not cause it. Complete idiot, not because he caused Hitler but because he thought he could prevent the rise of Hitler (it happens in every timeline).
Indian Actler[]
Knowing that he FAILED to prevent Hitler, Alois fled to India so he could become a Bollywood actor.
He's Del Fühler!
He became famous for his role in The Hitler Movie, a movie that made fun of Hitler and the Nazis and even Stalin. That version of the movie made so much money that Alois retired immediately and temporarily took over India as India's first Fühler. This made Adolf Hitler complete Complete COMPLETELY SUPER ANGRY. Adolf launched morbillions, grubillions, and marbillions of bombs at India because of The Hitler Movie. But before that, The Wall's Time Corp stopped everything and took Alois back to The Wall for messing with time and stuff. Those bombs that would hit India instead would hit Germany during Marguerite's reign.
The Walltler[]
Alois was sentenced to death by cement drowning by The Wall. The cement dried but Alois has not died yet, so he used his time powers to get out and go to a place in the UnUniverse where The Wall couldn't get him, India, but it has anti-time travel machines.
Del Fühler[]
Alois has, once, again became the Fühler of India. But this time, The Wall's Time Corp couldn't get to him because this version of India has anti-time travel nonsense.
Next stop: The World!
So, Alois then went to the next logical step, now that he couldn't be stopped: world domination.
He would easily dominate this version of the UnWorld because India had a huge population. He put more anti-travel stuff all over the world so no one could get to him via time travel.
Alois' Endler[]
Unfortunately for Alois's dream of becoming an Undefeatable, Marguerite Williams' rise to power happens in every timeline. But this time, she's the good guy (well, more like the antihero, like Stalin during WW2).
Williams leads the Anti-Schmingis Coalition and defeats Fühler India in this version of WWIII.
Though, Alois escaped death by a trillion nukes, by using his time-travel power, but he is caught by The Wall's Time Corp again, and totally. They put sleepy time in him, so his time powers go to sleep. Now they take him to be cemented in time for all of history...
But they FAILED again! Alois is now trying to become overpowered as heck, so he could become invincible!
Trivler[]
- He's gray because of the concretizing
- Hitler really HATES this guy