What's on your mind?
In a battle between the greatest wiki mascots of all time, who would win, the Legion of Captains or the UnMarioWiki Mascots (George W. Bush, Ronald McDonald, and Evil Guy)? Since none of the UnMarioWiki Mascots have visible UnRanks, this is a difficult question to answer.
My personal assessment:
Obviously, in order to even stand a chance against the Legion of Captains, the UnMarioWiki Mascots would need to counter the abilities of Captain 0, a member of the Lower Counsel of Undefeatables. How could they do this? Well, in the UnAnything canon, Evil Guy can transform into Evil Evil Guy using a special pendant (as opposed to the UnMario canon, where he now transforms into Evil Evil Evil Evil Evil Evil Guy), and the UnAnything version of Evil Evil Guy is, according to his article, "so fat so if you put it in a closet, the entire UnMultiverse will asplode." What else, I ask you, can "asplode" the entire UnMultiverse? Why, Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee in the End of Days, of course! With Evil Evil Guy having that kind of power, it's no wonder that Evil Evil Evil Evil Evil Evil Guy doesn't have an article on the UnAnything Wiki as of this writing--he doesn't need to exist! Now, Evil Guy could use his pendant to defeat Captain 0 in one of two ways: one, he could unleash Evil Evil Guy's fatness onto him and probably crush him (or the entire UnMultiverse) immediately, or two, he could use his pendant's magical powers to seal Captain 0 away, but only at the cost of either Evil Evil Guy's soul or his own. After all, Evil Guy's body can only contain one soul at a time.
TL;DR: Evil Guy can use his magic pendant to defeat Captain 0, possibly at the risk of his own life.
Now, what about the other Captains? Well, since they're computer-generated, they may be vulnerable to someone with inhuman hacking skills--like, for instance, Evil Guy! In The Super Evil Guy Super Show and EvilGuy 008 on the UnMario Wiki, as well as some Role Play crossovers with the T-2500.5, Evil Guy hones his computer knowledge to an insane degree. If anyone could figure out a way to de-program the Captains out of existence, he could, with the exception of two: Captain 0, who is an Undefeatable, and Captain 5, who could transform into the untouchable 5-Hole. Not only could the 5-hole probably suck up Evil Evil Guy, but it could bring dead Captains back to life. The only questionable thing about it is its intelligence: if it's stupid enough, it could be controlled by Ronald McDonald's Idiot Manipulation. Otherwise, it could spell doom for the UnMarioWiki Mascots.
Some additional information:
-Evil Guy's and Ronald McDonald's feats are wildly inconsistent, suggesting that their UnRank may have changed over time like Mister Kooper2's, but George W. Bush's UnRank can be roughly estimated. Since the George W. Bush article is in the "Bosses" category, and since the UnRank labeled "YOU ARE THE BOSS!" is 386,329,303,920, we can estimate that Dubya's UnRank is somewhere near that number. Of course, this doesn't mean anything because all the Captains' UnRanks stretch beyond infinity.
-Bill Cosby, the demiurge of the UnMarioWiki, owns the UnMarioWiki Mascots but is not factored into this fight because then, to make it fair, we'd have to add the Undefeatables, and we all know how that would turn out.
So what do you all think? Is my scenario plausible? Can you think of your own? Leave suggestions in the comments below.